Why a Boy?

Sure, we have often wondered why we were referred a boy. I really did some soul searching on this one. Mike always believed that this was somehow God's will. I found comfort in his strength and decided this must be true.

How could you not fall in love with this little guy? There were lots of "red threads" in his referral. His referral was mailed on the anniversary of my father's death. I can't help but feel they somehow met in heaven.

He had several of the things we prayed for. He was very happy, healthy, slept well and ate well. Very selfishly, I prayed our child would be cute - he is adorable.

All throughout this adoption process God kept reminding me of several things:

1) I constantly ran into the phrase "I Am". This was always comforting to me. I felt God was in control and that I should not worry.

2) Several times in a row, my devotion was on Abraham and Isaac, particularly the part about sacrificing Isaac. I thought it was that I needed to sacrifice the "idea" of what my child would be - meaning the age of our daughter. I just thought we were going to be referred an older child. My friend Shelly helped me with that. She told me to pray with my hands palm up. This is representative of accepting a gift, whatever that gift from God may be.

3) The story of Hannah also repeatedly came up. We kept thinking that it was confirmation of the name. But, Hannah had a son!

The grieve for our daughter was very hard and very real. We empty the girl nursery and I just cried and cried. We packed up her clothes and preceded to make this nursery our son's. It broke my heart because everything we bought for our daughter was special. It was purchased on a trip or for a special purpose. Now, our darling son has everything thrown together.

We had a closet full of clothes and items for our daughter. Our son has very little clothes. I just never want him to think he was not wanted - EVER. We do want him very much, just that we EXPECTED a daughter. How do you ever get that point across?

Please know little one that you are so loved. You are perfect in every way and we would never trade you for anything or anyone.